The Book Of Lists

Compiled by Jeffrey A. Thomas

"Welcome to the top five meaningless lists that absolutely, positively needed to find a place on!"

With apologies to the cast and crew of Police Academy 2-7
Five ...
leftcorner.gif (70 bytes)The FIVE Funniest "Police Academy" Movies:
1.] "Police Academy"
2.] Any episode of "Adam-12"
3.] "NYPD Blue" episodes that show Sipowicz's butt
4.] Damaged BetaCam footage of my grandfather nodding off while listening his police scanner
5.] "Police Academy" 2-7
leftcorner.gif (70 bytes)FOUR Ways That I Rationalize Why Having Digital Cable Television Is Better Than Having A Girlfriend:
1.] I know how to turn on digital cable.
2.] It can stay turned on all night.
3.] It doesn't mind if I fall asleep while it's turned on.
4.] The mute button.
Four ...
Three ...
leftcorner.gif (70 bytes)THREE Tom Clancy Movies That You'll Only Find In Video Stores That Also Specialize In Leather Accessories:
1.] "Patriot Gays"
2.] "Queer And Present Danger"
3.] "The Hunt For Fred October"
leftcorner.gif (70 bytes)The TWO Most Likely Reasons Why You Ended Up At
1.] You know me.
2.] My mom made you come here.
Two ...
... you guessed it ... ONE!
leftcorner.gif (70 bytes)The ONE Reason Why Life Could Be Worse Than Visiting
1.] Right now, you're missing "Police Academy" 2-7 on digital cable!

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