Gallery 64: Jeff Goes to Pittsburgh |
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![Pittsburgh! Monroeville! Zombies!](images/04_monroeville_mall_web/small_dee_jeff_ballpark.jpg) ![Pittsburgh! Monroeville! Zombies!](images/04_monroeville_mall_web/small_jeff_city.jpg)
A visit to PNC Park [left] and a near-death experience while balancing on a
guardrail high above the city were highlights of my recent trip to Pittsburgh
with my friend Dee and his family.
![Pittsburgh! Monroeville! Zombies!](images/04_monroeville_mall_web/large_sights_of_pittsburgh.jpg) The
sights of Pittsburgh [with the city in the background].
![Pittsburgh! Monroeville! Zombies!](images/04_monroeville_mall_web/small_jeff_slide.jpg) ![Pittsburgh! Monroeville! Zombies!](images/04_monroeville_mall_web/small_dee_slide.jpg)
Dee learns from my mistakes [and my water pressure-inflicted brain damage], and
chooses to plug his nose on his ride down the slide.
![Pittsburgh! Monroeville! Zombies!](images/04_monroeville_mall_web/large_grayson_pool.jpg) Smarter
still is Dee's son, Grayson, who disguises himself as a floatation device to
altogether avoid his turn at going down the slide.
![Pittsburgh! Monroeville! Zombies!](images/04_monroeville_mall_web/small_jeff_collen_grayson_pool.jpg) ![Pittsburgh! Monroeville! Zombies!](images/04_monroeville_mall_web/small_colleen_daisy.jpg)
At first, Grayson's Mom, Colleen, encourages our shenanigans as Grayson and I
splash about with some fun pool toys. Later, her mood changes when we
suggest that Grayson's sister, Daisy, is the perfect size to substitute for a
beach ball that we punctured during an aggressive pool volleyball game.
![Pittsburgh! Monroeville! Zombies!](images/04_monroeville_mall_web/large_nancy_daisy.jpg) Daisy's
Grandma Nancy unsuccessfully tries to convince the small diva that there is no
such thing as the Sports Illustrated Kids swimsuit issue.
![Pittsburgh! Monroeville! Zombies!](images/04_monroeville_mall_web/small_jeff_mall1.jpg) ![Pittsburgh! Monroeville! Zombies!](images/04_monroeville_mall_web/small_jeff_mall2.jpg)
Chopping Mall: That's me looking especially [re]animated outside of the
Monroeville shopping center where George A. Romero filmed the classic Dawn of
the Dead back in 1978.
![Pittsburgh! Monroeville! Zombies!](images/04_monroeville_mall_web/large_jeff_directory.jpg) In
lieu of stalking their victims, flesh-eating zombies have become lazy in the 25
years that have followed, instead using Monroeville Mall signage to lure their
victims.
![Pittsburgh! Monroeville! Zombies!](images/04_monroeville_mall_web/small_grayson_zombie.jpg) ![Pittsburgh! Monroeville! Zombies!](images/04_monroeville_mall_web/small_grayson_sleep.jpg)
Here's a zombie now! Luckily, we are able to incapacitate him using the
"bungee cord to the head" technique ...
![Pittsburgh! Monroeville! Zombies!](images/04_monroeville_mall_web/large_flo_grayson_dee.jpg) ...
another great method would be to apply the two-person "human vice," as
Dee and his Mom, Flo, demonstrate here. While Grayson seems happy in this
picture, moments after it was taken, his head exploded from the pressure.
![Pittsburgh! Monroeville! Zombies!](images/04_monroeville_mall_web/small_tay_dee.jpg) ![Pittsburgh! Monroeville! Zombies!](images/04_monroeville_mall_web/small_tay_colleen.jpg)
With the very photogenic Grayson out of commission, Dee's sister, Tay, is taken
out of mothballs and ordered to "increase her level of cuteness" when appearing
in family pictures.
![Pittsburgh! Monroeville! Zombies!](images/04_monroeville_mall_web/large_unleash_the_dee.jpg) Unleash
the Dee!
![Pittsburgh! Monroeville! Zombies!](images/04_monroeville_mall_web/small_parrot_shoots.jpg) ![Pittsburgh! Monroeville! Zombies!](images/04_monroeville_mall_web/small_parrot_shoots2.jpg)
"Polly want a WHAT?!" Here's what happens when good mascots go
bad, following the Pirate Parrot's ugly encounter with a disgruntled fan.
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